I love serving my Lord and have tried to do it faithfully, even during some of my most difficult challenges. I fall short many times and even though I consider myself a strong woman who walks by faith, I came to a point recently when I fell to my knees at the altar and cried out to God that my legs were too weak to continue.
This past spring my husband was showing signs of confusion and seemed to have trouble processing things he’d always done well…including his ability to work up bids for jobs coming into our woodworking shop. We finally saw several doctors and the official diagnosis is Parkinson’s disease with dementia! The tremors in his left hand make it impossible for him to use machinery, and his balance issues prohibit him from being in the shop. We decided at age 81, it was time for him to retire and we wanted to sell the business.
A potential buyer approached us and although the process of finalizing things seemed to be dragging on, we were close to signing in early October. Then, our only employee who had been running the shop for us, developed heart trouble and was hospitalized for a week. The buyer decided that without him, he couldn’t go forward with the deal and he backed out, leaving us in a dire situation. We had no jobs coming in, a lease payment coming up, and no employee to do any prospective jobs. We used our small savings to pay the November lease on the shop, plus other bills associated with it.
We began thinking we would have to let the landlord keep the equipment to cover the remaining 5 months of our lease. I kept praying and pleading with others to pray on our behalf. I posted my prayer needs on my Prayer team page and asked my “Tribe” of prayer warriors to ask God to send help from the sanctuary. Stress takes it’s toll. I was worrying about our employee, our business demise, my husband, how we could possibly make it on just our social security, and then my youngest daughter went to the hospital with infection in her lungs. She had asthmatic breathing difficulty and nodules on her lungs. More time in prayer! My hair was falling out! I couldn’t sleep!
Two weeks ago, I went to the altar before Sunday school and in the quiet of the sanctuary, I knelt, cried and prayed. I felt a hand on my right shoulder, and a sweet sister began praying. Soon I felt a hand on my left shoulder, and saw my pastor kneel next to me as he prayed. We prayed and cried together.
Last week another potential buyer approached us and after several meetings and discussions, we arrived at an agreement. Even though we are taking a loss, we will be out from under the financial pressure of the lease and monthly bills. We will also have some money to supplement our social security, as we learn to live with less. God knew all along, who the buyer would be. God gets the glory as He strengthened my weakened spiritual legs, and infused me with His power. We hope to sign papers before Thanksgiving, and then we can begin a new chapter in our lives.
My daughter was finally released from the hospital and is recovering at home. Our employee was released from the hospital and is building up his strength. Nick is taking meds to lessen his tremors and slow the memory loss. I’ve increased my biotin to stave off more hair loss, and I’m sleeping better. The last thoughts I have as my head settles on my pillow, is a reciting of a chapter I memorized last spring; Psalm 8.
Even strong believers can get weak spiritual legs as they walk by faith! Circumstances and unexpected challenges can send you reeling. But God…can over-ride any and all situations as He works for good in your life, and nothing can thwart His plans! I love Habakkuk 3:17-18. Yet I will rejoice in God my Savior! Even in my weakened spiritual condition, I praised God for being there with me, carrying me through it all. I rejoiced because I didn’t have to carry the burden alone! Neither do you. If you are facing challenges beyond your ability to deal with them, kneel and cry out to God for help. He is waiting to hear from you.